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A bit of research into a new flogger...

As requested by you, my Love, I am researching a new flogger, as ours recently broke...

After reading a bit, I think I know what I want, something in bright colors that is a medium weight, I like a nice thud and a bit of a sting so something light weight won't work that well. I'd also like it to be made by a small business...I'd like to avoid the "Made in China" stamp.

Here is what I've found so far:

Dark Blue Flogger

Green and Black Flogger

Work in Progress...
Recent posts

Well that's a curve ball I didn't expect!

Well, that’s a game changer…

If you’re here for just the kinky stuff, this is not the blog entry for you. This is the real side of living a D/s relationship with 7 kids, 4 dogs and 3 cats in the middle of rural Norcal. As much as I’d love for my life to be a novel quality experience fraught with passion, intrigue, and a whole lotta kinky stuff…it’s mostly diapers, homeschooling, and youth activities…lots and lots of driving as well.
After putting it off for years, for fear of what I’d find out, I finally went to my primary Doctor for the depression and the anxiety last week. (it only had to get so bad that I was struggling to leave the house, while always angry) She listened, suggested a therapist, referred me to a psychiatrist, then put me on Zoloft and Seroquel. My symptoms though concern her and she feels I may be bipolar as well but will leave that up to the psychiatrist to diagnose. Hearing that was super hard for me.

My maternal side of the family struggles with mental illness, wi…

Going off the rails...yet...again.

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

You predicted it, and it came true...not so much a prediction but more of a recognition of a pattern...pretty much every 6 weeks or so...since the "falling out"...we go off the rails.

And I'd have to say that yesterday's demonstration was particularly spectacular. I woke up having a panic attack, like from the moment I opened my brain was full of swirling, negative thoughts....mostly centered on you and the lack of consistency in our relationship and how it makes me feel. But honestly, it's so much more than that and you know it. Like an onion, we have multiple layers of problems, each one sticking to the other.
Yesterday, you tried to dominate me out of a panic attack...and ordered a spanking...and as you saw, that didn't go over well. Taking a step back, you have to understand, I'm not going to let anyone hit me who I feel is angry or in a state of "fuck, whatever it t…

Ugh, When Did Mornings Start to Suck So Bad?

The ****annoying sound of Daddy's alarm going off****

Me: Ugh, can you change the ring tone for that, it's annoying, it's been the same one for too long.

Daddy: Ha, sorry, I didn't realize the ring tone was so offensive

Me: I hate it. (rolling back over)

Daddy: Yeah, it's not my favorite thing either. We need to get up and shower then get to studying.


Cuddles and back rubs ensue...and the fog of "Holy Shit, Did I Ever Sleep?" begins to lift a tiny bit.  (with much moaning of painful protest, my back and shoulders are knotted beyond belief)

Daddy: It's time to get up and go take a shower.

Me: No, I don't want to. (yeah, it was whiney and protested for sure)

Daddy: Babygirl..... (in that tone, you know that tone)

Me: (big resigned sigh and a rollover)

Daddy: Ok, I'll go get the shower turned on and clean up after the cats. (The cats and I are arch enemies...mess makers that refuse to get the mice...those are Daddy's cats.)

Me: Can I…

When Shit Goes South...Getting Honest

You know, I've often heard the term "Shit went South"...and I know it's a negative thing...aka...when things go wrong, but the saying makes little sense.

Okay, shit went South in our way...way...way...South. As in I quit the job, I had for 6 weeks, the town we consider "home" burned to the ground, and we became parents to 4 more children...all girls...under the age of 7.  And as you can guess, our D/s went to shit as well...and heavens it showed.

I wish I could say I handled it all with grace...but alas...I was a moody, raging nut case. And that is being kind...  submission went out the window...replaced by a bitchy, judgy, harsh me. And to be honest, I'm still trying to find my way out of it.  We are trying to get back on track...but it's rough going. Toes crossed we get back to where we want to be.

Sir...what I'd like to read tonight.


Submissive Journal Prompt (from:

***I love prompts, TBH...I'm not that creative without one...unless I'm on a rant.***
Set four (4) goals that you would like to have accomplished by this time next month.

Goals, I know I need goals, but goodness my brain is such a jumble today, it's hard to set them. The most pressing goal I have is financially related, as it's a high-cost month for us, well above what Sir's normal salary can Ubering, I will be doing.
1.) Uber and earn the money to pay for the oldest to join Sea Cadets. He was slated to start this month, but with all of the other Scouting related's not going to happen, so I'm shooting for October.  $300
2.) Uber to pay for the youngest's birthday at the end of September. $200
3. ) Have my Introduction to Marketing class completed and be into week #2 for the Accounting class. 
4.) Master the CPAP task. Most tasks that Sir set's for me, I hav…

Sore boobs and stuff

You know it's a great play session when you wake up with boobs that can't stand to be touched. I almost didn't think I was going to make it last night, it was so hard to stay awake. I was taking my pre-bedtime bath and kept finding myself falling asleep...which did not bode well for me. With our schedules being what they are, our play sessions are pretty much limited to Fri-Sunday nights. (that is if the small humans that live with us allow it at all)  I knew if I even hinted to my Sir that I was exhausted, that he'd call it off, and tuck me in. And I'm one fucking brat when I want something, so I sucked it up and drank 1/2 a grande Starbucks latte and enjoyed myself. 
And enjoy myself I did, I had my ass spanked with my favorite paddle and got to enjoy his cock in my mouth. As of late, I've learned that I enjoy a good face fucking. I love it when I lay back on the side of our bed, and he straddles my face while standing. I enjoy digging my nails into his ass,…