I'm peopling, and I'm doing it for my Sir. (for now, I know eventually, I'll be doing it for myself...but for now...it's pretty much a forced activity lol) We went to our 2nd Munch with our local community. Nice little group of people, a bit older, which makes me happy....I like hanging out with people who know what the fuck they are doing and what the fuck they are talking about. It feels very much like a safe group and I've learned so much already about nearby venues and who to contact to get vetted to use them.
Having a connection to people who play like you do and have the same beliefs about BDSM that you do, is important! I learned this week that one group in Sacramento is a for-profit and will do whatever it takes to sell spots at their play parties. (even some pretty unsafe vetting/play practices for their BDSM crowd) While another is exactly what we are looking for!
This past week, I also ended a friendship, which while hard, was probably the best thing for me. While the friend is in the lifestyle, they are in another branch and chooses to speak with authority about BDSM, when they are not. (now if I needed Swinging advice, I'd call them up) I've just gotten tired of the condescending attitude and the constant narcissistic "look at me" crap. And I can't stand to be manipulated, for any reason, so it's best to know when to walk away. And for the record, when I hear 40-year-olds bragging about banging people in their early 20's...I don't think "oh, you're so cool! I wish I could do that.", I think "predatory behavior because you can't hang with people your own age and be respected...you have to have someone young who do not see through your bullshit yet." I also hate the "After all we've done for you" bullshit...yeah...we get it...your partner makes a lot of money, but let's be fair, who dropped everything to watch your kids more than once so you could head off to a foreign place to bang prostitutes? Pretty sure we are even in what we've done for each other...but you know...we aren't the kind of friends who were keeping track...like you are. But that's that...it's best to know when to close doors on toxic relationships. FWIW, you can't kill people with kindness when your version of kindness is so shallow and self-serving.
My amazing sibling has let me know that she needs a heart valve replaced again. SO I'm worried! This will be a true test for me, I can't just take over and schedule everything for her, I have to respect and support her through the process. I will do this! I will be there for her but respect her independence in making her own medical and life decisions.
As far as our D/s goes, well, it just keeps on keeping on lol. It's amusing to think back on how long we've been living a D/s relationship, without using that label or really having it defined. Pretty much since Day #1, I've been his service submissive, making sure all his needs were met...and he's been my big D, nurturing, caring and making sure that I'm cared for and the kids are cared for....all the while engaging in some pretty non-vanilla sex/play. Our relationship is comfortable, safe, warm, loving...when it needs to be...and a bit on the flip side when it needs to be.