Oh, Ms. Harrison, this one is a doozy. (note to self, learn what Tasha Harrison likes to go by so you don't picture her as an 11th grade English teacher when writing...with her red pen at the ready.)
I started working on this blog entry last night, getting my graphics perfect and brainstorming my thoughts...then I had "the morning". You know "the morning"...it's such a good thing! I woke up about 4am (I know, early, and we don't have chickens, though we should) and OMG, I was beyond hot and bothered! I don't tend to remember my dreams, so there was no help there in helping me figure out what in the world was going on, but I knew one thing, I needed my Sir's cock...badly lol. Now, my quandary was, it's 4am and he's sound asleep, as in deeply relaxed, peacefully sleeping, sound asleep. I knew I'd be risking a paddling for waking him up, but I was pretty sure he'd be unhappy if I didn't wake him up to sate my arousal. (after all, it's pretty rare for me lol)
I laid there for a bit, and by a bit, I mean, maybe 30 seconds...debating between just using my butters and my vibrator or waking him up. While plan A was appealing...waking him up was just the way to go. The bratty side of me decided to risk the warming of my ass with his paddle and rolled over to play with his nipples. Needless to say, it didn't take much use of my favorite fidget nipples (my nickname for his nipples...think fidget spinners...but nipples for people with anxiety) to have his cock awake and ready to go. And even less time before I was on my knees getting fucked hard from behind. Followed by the warming of my ass...with his paddle...for waking him up before dawn. :) Now, back to the prompt...my fears...what scares me.
Working through my tarot card reading this morning, I identified a few key concerns of mine:
I have all the courage, persistence, and resilience that I need to get through the challenges that we are facing right now. And things are happening soon to change our financial situation, but the cautionary warning in the cards was PLAN, BUDGET, USE YOUR RESOURCES WISELY, and BE ORGANIZED! I do suffer from a lack of self-control, lack of self-confidence and lots of self-doubts and my situation with my external support system is beyond chaotic (hello, my friends and family are a hot mess Y'all!). But the overarching message was hope and courage and to prepare and plan. Which is amusing, that today's prompt about what scares me is ... a lack of a plan!
I hate not knowing what the plan is! I hate not knowing where this ship we are riding in is going. I thrive on routine, structure, discipline, tasks, and goals. So you leave me without a plan and I'm a hot mess! So today, I've asked my Sir to help me plan, helps me see where we are going in the long run together, what's our end goal after the kids leave the house? Where do we want to end up living? And I'm making lists of plans and budgets that need to be made. You can't be afraid of what you can control :)